Hadhrat Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani (damat barkatuhum) writes:
Mutual respect, love, understanding, courtesy and a mutual consideration of each other’s needs plus mutual tolerance are not only a must for marital and familial bliss but also very meritorious. The exalted and eternally blessed Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) has said that, “The most perfect faith have those Muslims who have better morals, and the best of these are those who are best for their women.” (Tirmidhi)
A hadith has already been quoted which says that the food which one puts in his wife’s mouth earns him merit. Another hadith goes a bit further and predicts merit even on the sexual act of a husband and a wife.
Some of the companions once asked the Holy Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), “We satisfy our carnal needs; does it too earn merit?” Our Holy Prophet replied, “Tell me, would it not be a sin if someone did it in the unlawful way? Then the one who is doing it in the lawful way would certainly get its reward.” (Muslim)
Another hadith tells us that when a husband, upon returning home, looks at his wife with love and the wife returns his glance with love, Allah looks upon both of them with Mercy.
Husband and wife are always together and pass a large portion of their lives in each other’s company. It is but natural for frictions to arise. If these normal misunderstandings and displeasures are allowed to degenerate into bitter quarrels and cruelty to each other, then not only are worldly pleasures destroyed but the Divine reward for mutual love is also lost.
Hence Allah Ta’ala and his blessed Messenger (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) have formulated for us a perfect guideline for marital bliss; it can be summarized as follows: “Do not look at only those things which displease you; think too that the partner, who is displeasing you, has some good qualities as well. If you think of these good qualities, the good relationship with your spouse shall be restored”. In a hadith the Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam), may he be eternally blessed, has directed as follows, “No believer should have total dislike of a believing woman (because) if he dislikes one thing, there would be some quality (in her) which he would surely like.”
If husband and wife follow this principle and live with mutual love and try their best to be good to each other, their marital life shall be enriched with happiness and they shall go on earning more and more merit and Divine rewards all their lives.
[“Good Easy Deeds” by Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani (db)]